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Victory in Family: Marriage & Sex

via TJC

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” Eph 5:25-27. (ESV)

This week, we will be looking at Victory as it relates to family and the various stages of family including dating and divorce.

Some sections of Scripture are clear commands and some sections are less clear, open to different interpretations. The command for Husbands to love your wives … is a clear command.

Guys, when first thinking about love & sex, were your first influencers friends and the surrounding culture? What did you hear? I heard that hook-ups are OK and that sex is just a physcal thing based on attraction (& attraction can be fitness, looks, car, money, job, etc.).

You may have heard of words that are all translated as “love” in English. Erotic love refers to physical and romantic attraction. Philia refers to brotherly love or affection. Agape refers to self-sacrificial or unconditional love. The world teaches going for erotic love, and maybe brotherly affection will follow. The Bible teaches husbands to lead with Agape (Eph 5:25), with Philia (affection) and Eros to follow; sex is not simpy physical but a sensual intimacy & emotional bonding reserved between a husband and wife.

Before getting married I had heard that wives long to feel valued, loved, pursued, needed, and precious, and need to hear that from their husbands more than once. Also (when it comes to sex) that women are like cruise ships (needing to feel loved over time to feel ready) and men are like speed boats (ready to go). In other words, I’ve learned that sacrificial acts that are appreciated (like unloading the dishwasher) and affectionate words throughout the day help my wife to feel loved and ready for the physical intimacy that evening that we both desire. There is nothing better than the intimacy we share when she feels loved and treasured.

In other words, sex is like the Cherry on top of the Sundae, the happy ending, but not the Sundae itself. And the happy ending is GREAT!, but only possible when built upon God’s plan and design.

Some bible passages are both easy to understand and hard to do consistently. Good marriages require hard work and God’s grace.

Daily Battle Order:

Particularly for the hard things, God’s design is for godly men to walk together, encouraging one another. If not already in a Cohort then today’s battle order is to contact TJC and ask about the next cohort being formed.

If already in a Cohort then reread EMAW Book 2, page 57, jotting down 3 things you can do to make your wife (or future wife) feel loved, cherished, and precious. Which will you do today?


Join TJC on June 11th and learn what Victory looked like at The First Battle of Manassas, and how the appearance of Victory can change when we lose sight of our mission.



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