But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially the members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
1 Tim 5:8
A provider is someone who gives someone something they need. We’ve looked at this through a scriptural and cultural lens this week and are now looking at what it actually looks like in our own lives. I’m going to share my victories and defeats as a provider in hopes you can relate, repeat or avoid. I grew up in a traditional home where my father worked (long hours) and financially provided for the household. My mother provided for raising us as children, keeping the household running with all of the chores, meals, clothes. She also provided for us spiritually and emotionally. This was the model and blueprint I had as I stepped out the door into life at 18 years old.
Fast forward. I have a wife and three kids. And where do you think I am excelling as a provider? Yes, I faithfully provide financially for my family and work very hard to do that. I am proud of that consistency (almost 30 years) and that they do not have to worry about getting those needs met. This is a victory worth celebrating and repeating. But here is the kicker – I have two big excuses I find myself making…1. Because I am providing financially it justifies where I am not providing at the same level for my wife and kids – spiritually, emotionally, around the house, cooking, cleaning; 2. Because I am providing at a higher level than I received growing up (spiritually, emotionally, household duties), then I have met the bar. Both are lies.
When I zoom out to the basic definition of a provider (giving someone something they need), and then look at my family, it is obvious I have more work to do. I am guessing most of you reading this do too. I am not always giving my wife and kids the emotional and listening support they need. I am not always giving them the spiritual guidance and direction they need. And God knows I could pitch in a bit more with household chores and planning. The scary thing is, you know what happens when I don’t provide for these needs (especially the physical, spiritual and emotional ones)? I leave the door open for someone or something else to meet those needs…
So I leave this DBO by asking a simple question, “are you providing well in one area, but using that as an excuse for not providing well enough in another area?” Drop the excuses and go give someone something they need.
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