Partners, not Enemies

Via TJC

Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light. Because I have sinned against him, I will bear the Lord’s wrath, until he pleads my case and upholds my cause. He will bring me out into the light; I will see his righteousness.

Micah 7:8-9

We end this week recognizing that we all sin and fall short of God’s vision for our lives. Sometimes we stumble publicly, but mostly we fall in private, at home. Those closest to us, our spouses, know most if not all of our failures and stumbling blocks and we know theirs. So how do we cultivate a relationship where two sinful people build each other up and grow in cooperation and love versus letting our faults tear us down?

My wife and I are quickly coming up on our 10th wedding anniversary and our 17th year as a couple. I praise God every day that she is my best friend, my best critic and ally but it has not always been this way. When we first started dating, it was a slog just to coexist. She had some craaazy friends, an erratic school schedule and a habit of drinking that began before we met, all of which caused a lot of strife. As an engineer, I could not function hungover, with no sleep. As an artist, drink and sleep deprivation were her muse!

I remember many nights staying up late arguing and discussing our perspectives and how to work together. One of the main reasons I continued to pursue her was her willingness to work things out together. We were not enemies, we were partners! Many times we could have let our stubbornness destroy what we were building but we chose to persevere, communicating and establishing trust in those first 7 years which laid the foundation for our marriage. Now 10 years and 4 children in, we still smile and criticize each other knowing that any correction comes from the love we share and the want for the other to succeed. Instead of using our faults as cudgels to demoralize or dominate, we use them as a measure of how far we have come, how much we have learned and what else we need to work on to continue to create harmony in our family.

Daily Battle Order:

Today take time to ask yourself if you help your spouse or significant other overcome their flaws or if you are oblivious to their struggles. Pray that God can use your interactions to remove some of their pain, doubt and anxiety to build trust in your relationship and grow closer together.