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  • Writer's pictureTJC

Is Jesus F.I.R.S.T. in my: Relationships?

This week, TJC asks (and answers) questions about specific areas of our lives. Namely, is Jesus first in those areas?

     Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 

     This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

—‭‭Matthew‬ ‭22‬:‭37‬-‭39‬ 

As if I asked you, Kingdom Man, to make a priority list of relationships in your life, I imagine it would look something like this:

  1. Jesus

  2. Wife

  3. Children

  4. Rest of Family

  5. Church Family

  6. Friends

  7. Neighbors

A couple years ago, I was in a Small Group where we were reading a marriage book. The author of the book sought to change the list a bit: 

  1. Jesus

  1. Wife

  2. Children

  3. Rest of Family

  4. Church Family

  5. Friends

  6. Neighbors

Notice the difference? 

A man in our Small Group shared these lists with his father. His dad agreed with the first list, but couldn’t seem to figure out what the second list implied, and the great margin that should exist between our love for Jesus and everything else.

I admit there was a sense of moral superiority I felt in this story between my fellow Small Group Member and his father. “How could he not understand the second list?”

Months later, I asked myself, “Wait a second… What does it actually look like to live like the second list instead of the first list? How is my life different from someone who lives only through the first list?” 

It’s one thing to claim & declare the second list is better & fits my life—it’s another thing to live it out. I wrestled with this myself and concluded the answer is this: Lordship. That’s what separates everyone else in #2 to #7 from #1. Jesus is not just our favorite family member, or our best friend—he’s our Lord & Savior. If that’s true, what needs to change? The first thing is this: Since no one else can save & atone for my sins like Jesus can, no one else can command me like Jesus can. 


The question we want you, Kingdom Man, to pose to your families this evening at the dinner table is this: What does it mean for you to live like the second list rather than the first? What does it actually look like for Jesus to be the center of all my relationships? Does your life differ from someone only living through the first list? What command from Lord Jesus do you need to take more seriously as the true #1 relationship in your life?



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