How to Begin Peace-Making

I am a Kingdom Man. I am called to break down barriers and free others from strongholds. I am a Peace Maker.

Via The Joshua Commission

When we heard of it, our hearts melted in fear and everyone’s courage failed because of you, for the Lord your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below. -Joshua 2:11

You're judging when you should be understanding. 

Your wife's frustrated, and you think she's nagging. Your kid's acting out, and you think he's disrespectful. Your neighbor votes for someone you disagree with, and you think he's an idiot. You've already made up your mind, so you miss what's really going on. Realize what you are not seeing. Your wife isn't nagging: she's overwhelmed and needs you to see it. Your kid isn't disrespecting you: he's scared and doesn't know how to say it. Your neighbor isn't an idiot: like all of us, he's grasping for answers. 

However, if we judge them before we understand them then we will never help them. We  can't break down barriers that we don't see. We can't free people from strongholds that we  don't understand. 

Judgy people can’t make peace. 

Joshua's spies didn't do that: they listened to Rahab. They did not judge her as a prostitute in hiding. She was terrified. In fact, the whole city was terrified. The spies heard because they listened. They listened to understand. They understood before they acted. This is how they knew to make a deal with her. That's how they knew what to report back to Joshua.

Pause Your Autopilot

Step 1: Pause Judgment. Don’t React. When you see behavior that bugs you, stop. Don't react. Don't judge. Just stop.

Step 2: Watch. Don’t jump to "What's wrong with them?" Ask "What's driving this?" Fear? Pain? Need? Stronghold?

Step 3: Listen without “Fixing”. Shut up and listen. Don't plan your response. Don't offer solutions. Just listen to what they're actually saying.

Step 4: Look for the barrier or stronghold. What's blocking them? What's got them trapped? It's usually not what you first thought. Could the barrier or stronghold be with you???

Step 5: Make Real Peace with a Plan. Once you understand, then you can break the right barrier, address the right stronghold, make real peace.

Really all this requires is taking a deep breath and arresting yourself before you judge or react. This is the pre-requisite to being a peace maker. 

Most guys skip steps 1-4 and jump straight to 5 and they break the wrong barriers, attack the illusory strongholds, or make peace that doesn't last. Joshua didn't do that. His spies understood first. Then they acted. We need to do the same.

THE KINGDOM MAN’S CREED

I am a Kingdom Man. I am created by God to bear His image. I am a son and viceroy for my Fathers work. I am a warrior, lover, teacher and king.

I am a Kingdom Man. Like Joshua, I will be strong and courageous. I will train my mind and body for the battles to come. I will discipline my heart, eyes and tongue to be steadfast and faithful to the calling on my life.

I am a Kingdom Man. If a husband, I love and serve my wife, if a father, a loving father to my children. I will love and lead them as Christ loves the Church. If a brother, uncle, guardian, mentor or friend, I will give honor in all of my relationships. I will lead, teach, correct and train in the spirit of righteousness.

I am a Kingdom Man. I am called to break down barriers and free others from strongholds. I am a Peace Maker. My armor is Truth, Righteousness, Grace and Humility. I will stand in the gap for my neighbor to defend gospel justice for the marginalized. 

I am a Kingdom Man. God is my provider. He has given me gifts and talents to exemplify Him with the work of my hands. I will work with diligence and excellence. My labor will be honest and its fruits purposeful.

I am a Kingdom Man with a Kingdom vision. Commissioned by Christ. My life is the Father’s. I am intentional. I will grow in my faith, be consistent in my actions and leave a legacy worthy of the race I have run.