Domestic Violence Awareness Month

via TJC

“But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.”Colossians‬ ‭3‬:‭8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Domestic violence is violence committed by someone in the victim’s domestic circle. This includes partners and ex-partners, immediate family members, other relatives and family friends. There is usually a power gap between them. The victim is dependent on the offender. Domestic violence can take the form of physical, sexual, psychological abuse and stalking.

The following  is very top level as the people in it choose to live redeemed lives. The actual events go far deeper and do not need to be fully shared publicly.. 

I grew up in what was to me, a very normal home. Parents loved us and disciplined us.  As a hyperactive boy I apparently needed that discipline which often felt like a beating as I absorbed frequent bare butt spankings with the belt. I’d hear “this hurts me more than you”- which I heard as total BS. 

I got out of the house as fast as I could. My parents were alcoholics and my sister soon absorbed beatings. Fast forward and I was off in the military and my sister married. 

Her husband hid his alcoholism, and was never home, absorbed with his work and busyness, pursued his own hobbies and was not involved with his family.

Eventually that led to divorce and another relationship for my sister with an alcoholic who viciously verbally abused her about everything, including her kids. For years! 

This led my beautiful sister to not trust that a man would adore and respect her. A widowed neighbor soon began pursuing her for companionship that led to stalking and unbelievable verbal abuse. I often described him to her as the “little wind up evil monkey that was clanging its cymbals” to just get reactions from his abuse.  Police became involved and a “no contact”court order was constantly ignored.  

Fast forward, my beautiful, intelligent, sacrificial, loving sister has endured a life of domestic violence from those she loved, leading her to years of counseling and a desire to live alone, not trusting someone to love her. 

The scars of abuse extend beyond physical to emotional and spiritual scars.  “Words don’t break bones” they break a person’s heart and spirit.  That is truly abuse. 

Daily Battle Order How are your words heard by your spouse and children? Words do not go away, they shape the environment and the very soul of those who must absorb them. As leaders of our home we must be present as the priest, provider and protector of our family’s lives, hearts and souls. 

PS- there is far more to this story and others like it.  Every one of us has a story.  They become generational, without someone stepping into the gap. If this is similar to your story - please don’t ignore that twisting you feel in your chest.  Rise Up and change the course for generations to come.  Get hold of a trusted Godly friend and share the story. If you are a victim, stop sweeping the pain under the carpet.  You and your loved ones deserve a love they can believe and trust in.