Via TJC
“So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,” ~Ephesians 5:28-29 (NASB)
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves;” ~ Philippians 2:3
“Marriage is not 50-50; 50-50 is divorce. Marriage is 100-100.” ~ Advice on Marriage.
There is a lot of marriage advice out there, yet almost half of all marriages in America end in divorce, and a number of other marriages are “unhappy”.
So, for all of you married men, and also you men, considering marriage, what is the best marriage advice you ever received (or gave)? The advice will depend upon the status of the receiver (e.g.: Not yet Married, Newly Married, Married with 1st child, Blended family, etc.). This week we are looking at best advice for various statuses and today for those considering marriage but not yet married.
For this author, I was a devoted Christian for a number of years before finding God’s beautiful handiwork that became my wife. Long before marrying, I heard “Marriage is not 50-50; 50-50 is divorce. Marriage is 100-100.” But what did that mean? Primarily it meant I needed to be all-in, be prepared to give (invest) everything, self-sacrificially, (virtually) following Christ’s example in that He laid down his own life for His bride, the church. And based on your leadership, you should expect the same from your wife.
It also meant that I needed to start practicing that attitude (preparing my own heart) when single, and NOT wait until married to start - to wait until marriage would mean bringing in avoidable messiness on top of learning to live a new life, married, with this other human being, We’ll all bring baggage into our marriage relationship; the point was to minimize the avoidable baggage.
To be all-in (100-100) as a guy, I had to ask myself:
Am I willing to forgo my own needs and desires to please my wife, or (realistically) am I in for what I can get out of it?
Am I now doing everything I can to understand my future wife’s world (& do I value it)? Though I can feel like I am from Mars and don’t yet understand that Venutian language ladies speak, yet with God’s grace, (future) husbands can live with wives in an understanding manner (1 Pet 3:7).
Where are the good examples I want to emulate (because there are plenty of bad examples to avoid)?
I did do the preparation, and in my case, I have one of the happy marriages. Both my wife & I are grateful for the positive input received from others regarding marriage, before we got married ourselves.
Daily Battle Order: Most of you reading this DBO are already married. Your order for today is to consider what positive advice you could give to a Christian man (or woman) to prepare them for marriage. What is the best pre-marriage advice you ever heard?
If not married and considering marriage, start NOW preparing your heart (& also read tomorrow’s DBO).
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